I am devastated by a man's failure to control his anger

Sunday night while watching the news I learned of the tragic shooting death of a 2 year old in an up and coming Downtown Denver neighborhood. I knew the neighborhood well, even have some friends who live there. Its a neighborhood much like mine (if you know where I live), nice and new redesigned historical homes, young bohemian families moving in, lots of comfortable community with your neighbors. When I heard of the death I was saddened simply because the place was like my neighborhood and hoped no one I knew was near by, but would be asking them what they knew about it. Little did I know, the victim would be the son of a friend of mine. 

When I got to work Monday morning I noticed a melancholy mood permeating the management staff, by the end of our pre-shift meeting I knew why. Thomas Crookham, on of our weekend servers was the father of the 2 year old shot. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. I knew Tom, not real well, but I still knew him. He was a cool guy. Real quiet but also really, really nice and comfortable with others. How could this happen to him?! 

He and his wife were getting back together after filing for divorce but never finalizing. They were slowly reconciling and this past Sunday morning attended Mass together as a family, Mom, Angela, Tom and their son, Noah. During their separation Angela had dated some, including her friend, Earl,  who had moved into the basement duplex of her house to help her with rent (Tom had moved out). When Tom and Angela had decided to make things work, Angela asked Earl to move out, but he hadn't yet. When Earl discovered Tom at the house after Mass Sunday morning he became furious and began arguing with Tom. Soon Earl brandished a gun. Tom told Angela to run, then grabbed Noah and fled himself. Two shots were fired in the house and then while Tom was running down the street with Noah in his arms, Earl aimed at Tom. The bullet hit him in the hand with which he was holding Noah. The bullet went through his hand and into his son's chest, taking his life. 

The brokenness and anger and devastation here is almost unconceivable. I can only make attempts at imagining the sheer emotional devastation Tom and Angela are feeling. I can no longer understand why someone who seems perfectly normal would lash out in rage over something like a girl breaking up with him. The shooter keeps saying in the article in the Denver Post that he didn't mean to hurt anyone. Didn't mean to hurt anyone?! What part of shooting a gun doesn't intend to hurt someone?! Anger and violence never mix. When they do, this kind of thing can happen. The resolution to anger can not result in violence, it never accomplishes anything. 

This is my prayer: 

"Holy, Glorious Lord, please, be with us, be with the Crookhams. They need your strength, guidance and protection. Carry them through. Holy Father, today I see once again how we are in such desperate need of you and how brokenness when left unhealed can create devastation personally and publicly. I have come only closer to comprehending how you will work in us, if we let you, to become who we were created to be but have chosen not to be. When we choose to reject you we choose to reject ourselves, our whole and true selves. God to your glory be wholly here within this tragedy and help other people see how WHOLE you are and how you will help them heal from their brokenness if they will let you. Love Tom and Angela with all you have. I love you Father." 

Update

OK, so I haven't posted in a while because I have been so busy looking for a job. Why am I looking for a job you might ask? Well, that's just the question, simply because I feel called to care for and serve the community of Christ with all I have and with all I am. I've tried some new methods recently but just haven't seemed to have find my place yet. So, I'm looking. And looking. And looking. 

And its been a long process. 

In my previous post, I mentioned that I would be doing a face to face interview with a congregation in the KC area. I have since been to that interview and all though I was interested in the job, things just didn't pan out. I felt like there was something unique about the job but just something missing. I was willing to make things work, however, the congregation must have felt it too and shut down the process before I could. I was kind of bummed simply because there wasn't really a good reason given to me for why they shut the process down, but yet relieved because we weren't going to have to deal with some potential conflicts. 

So, I'm back on the prowl. While interviewing with the KC church I have also been interviewing with World Vision and have started the process with a number of churches around the country. Today I was contacted by pastors in both St. Louis and Indiana who had seen my resume and said they were looking for someone like me to fill a void, so that is exciting. I have a phone conversation with Indiana tomorrow morning and am hoping to set something up with St. Louis soon. (BTW, these are all UMC churches)

I am also hoping for an interview with the Tennessee Annual Conference as the Conference Youth and Young Adult Director, have my resume in at Ginghamsburg UMC and a UMC church outside of Atlanta. So, I am working diligently - so just keep praying for me. 

The main thing with this is the looking forward to not having to pick up more shifts to make money so I can pay bills. To be honest, it can be emotionally draining to job search all day long and then shift over into serving tables, when do I get to stop this crazy roller coaster?! Trust me, this is nothing I advice for anyone to have to do. 

"Jane, get me off this crazy thing!!!"