Understanding Today...

So, yesterday I sent out this e-mail below updating everyone on my e-mail list and my facebook list on what is happening in my life and where I am at with things and my walk with God. What has been absolutely love-filled and beautiful is who has responded and how many of my friends and family have responded with love, encouragement and hopeful advice. Friends who I haven't heard from in a long time, sorority sisters who have always been there to lean on and who have proven to me that they will now and forever be there for my support and encouragement, family members who glorify the reasons we love each other with every comment made (even from my brother over texting!!). 

I love how God has, to His glory, helped to keep me focused and on track to His glorious plan for this life (not just mine, but all those who surround me, I come in contact with and those I will never know). He has reminded me just who I am and who He is through the words of love and encouragement from my friends and family. Perhaps the harder part of this stage of the journey is the unsureness, the confusion on how God is working and who He is calling me to be right now in this moment of feeling lost. 

Its also hard because I have felt like my church community has changed/fallen apart. You see while Denver is a very special and wonderful town, it can also be a very transient place where people come and go and where people seek to find themselves and then once they have they leave. There has also been a lot of changes in my original church community here in Denver causing a lot of the people who I called community to leave the church and all of us end up scattering to the wind. That has been hard on me... I really don't have a church community here. 

So, having all these people love on me and help me find His strength again has been a tremendous help this week. As my friend told me today:  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

Here is the update e-mail for your viewing pleasure: 

Well, some of you might be wondering what is happening with me right now and some of you might be very aware but haven’t heard the latest update so this is a brief e-mail to fill you in. 

Just a quick recap: 

• Graduated seminary in May 2007
  
• May 2007, took steps to start a congregation with some friends, eventually, for healthy reasons, they backed out and I was left alone to continue the development. 
  
• August 2007, began working for Leadership Nexus as the Emerging Church consultant and conference planner. Developed an Emerging Church for the Existing Church Conference here in Denver in April 2008. It was well attended and began to drum up exciting support for the cause of Christ through the Emerging Church movement. 
  
• After a few months realized that it wasn’t the right situation or circumstances for the church plant and watched this first stab at church planting fold. 
  
• End of July 2008 came to realize through the great push of the Holy Spirit that I was struggling greatly with not having a congregation to serve, lead and develop. 
  
• August 2008 began to actively seek out church, parachurch or missions organization employment. 
  
• September 2008 began actively interviewing for a few positions in Colorado and Kansas. 
  
• Mid September 2008 - Economy Crashed - most of the organizations I was interviewing with went on a hiring freeze which meant no more interviews. 
  
• October 2008 - sent my resume out to 50+ UMC church leaders all over the country asking for help with my job search, resulting in about 5 opportunities with churches or UMC conferences wanting to create a job in order to hire me. However, the economy wasn’t getting any better so nothing was (and still isn’t) moving to fast. 
  
• November 2008 attended Leadership Nexus’s Traditional Worship Conference, got an interview out of the event, but nothing has happened with the job yet. 
  
• December 2008 spoke with Dad at The Great Emergence event based on Phyllis Tickle’s book by the same title. 
  
• After The Great Emergence event Dad and I realized there was still a great need for Emergent/Existing Church conferences and began to plan ways to develop another series of conferences on the subject. Part of this plan has been the hiring of me as a contract position. to develop the conferences for Leadership Nexus. 
  
• Interviewed for Conference Youth Director job in Tennessee, really wanted it, didn't get it. Long story - but my thinking was the interview was just a formality, they already knew who they were going to hire before they started anyone's interviews. 
  
• January 2008 - still looking for job. 
  
• Between now and mid February plan on making trips to Tennessee and Cincinnati to work on developing these Emerging/Existing Conferences. 
  

So, that is the recap.

I am still struggling with my job search. Most places are very carefully looking for positions and anything that they can put on another person’s plate rather than hire someone new they will do - its the economy, economy, economy... 

Yes, I am looking for a job just about anywhere in the US and even over seas. What am I willing to do? Well, call me and we can talk about that. Basically a Youth Director position for 40 kids is not what I am looking for - I am over qualified. But a Christian Education Director, an Associate Pastor, etc. - that might be something else. 

I am also living in a set of circumstances based on an income that is not happening now and so I am having to look at other options.

I am still working at the restaurant as my only stable source of income, but that isn’t that much either right now - did I mention the economy?! Where I used to make 100-125 on a 5 hour shift I am now lucky to make 80-90. So, I don't really know how I will make ends meet at the end of each month. Working to find a job is a full time job, as well as waiting tables, so I am burning the candle at both ends and am becoming emotionally and spiritually exhausted - only one of those jobs pays.... It is also hard because while I know who I am and what my purpose in life is, I struggle greatly with the fact that I am not really accomplishing it right now. For this reason I am quite grateful for the contract work with Leadership Nexus because it gives me the chance to work through my purpose, however, its still just temporary. 

So, here are my current options I am looking at to help reduce my costs during this transition time  since nothing is materializing quickly: 

1) Find a job as some sort of part-time resident manager with a small apartment complex that will give me free rent. Cornerstone Apartments in Denver does something like this, but I just don't know if they have any positions open. 

2) Put all my stuff in storage and live out of suitcases, bouncing from friend to friend house until I can get a job. 

3) Find some sort of free housing option. This is the bulk of my expenses right now, I have paid off most of my other bills - Thank you LORD! 

4) Start playing the Lottery or go to Blackhawk to gamble and see how that goes! 

5) Sell my plasma, blood, hair, teeth...ok maybe not teeth

What else? 

1) I am seriously considering just moving to Cincinnati, Ohio and taking up a job there some where. Why? Well, don't all of you want to move there too?!?!? OK, OK... It's mainly because there are some really cool people (friends of mine) there who are doing some great things with emerging church development and have called me and told me they would love for me to more there to help them. There is a Pappadeaux there and some other possible job options. 

2) I have come to realize that I have a marketable workshop that I can share with churches and leadership teams on understanding current culture and how God has been moving throughout Generations. I worked on this and taught it at the Creative Conference Leadership Nexus hosted in Orlando this last week and it was well received. Its all about understanding the generations in our congregations, how they think (generally), how they act, how to work with them, how they respond to the church and how to connect with the Postmodern culture we live in. I would like to work this up and start doing weekend retreats and training events all over the country. 

3) I am still willing to start a church and would like to find some parent organization to support this. If you have any ideas let me know. 

4) I am planning on getting ordained in the UMC. However, this process is long and difficult to transfer until you are about a year in so I am waiting until I know where I will be to start the process. 

What is happening with the 5 churches I mentioned in the beginning? I don't know, I am in the process of finding out. If you have any suggestions let me know. 

So, there it is.... please be praying for me. I am at a loss. I don't know how this will all turn out. God's careful control is going on here, but its still difficult. Any help you can give, prayer, encouragement, anything... will be well appreciated. I live only to His glory and will always call Him Lord whether I ever have work again. God is good, all the time....

Love always, 

Becky