Shovel your Sidewalks!

As most of you are being covered with snow and ice, we here in Denver have finished receiving our dumping of about 5-8 inches of snow. This now means that each of us who live in a house in Denver must now shovel our sidewalks. This is not a requirement for your personal walk up to your front door, but it is a ticketable offense if you DO NOT shovel your portion of the city sidewalk. Yes, I said ticketable... you have 24 hours after the snow to get it done. 

Well, I thought everyone understood this and would want to avoid the ticket. I know I do! In fact my neighbor has a snowblower and is compassionate enough to do our portion of the city sidewalk for us, as well as a few others on our street. It doesn't take that long, just get the shovel out and push then toss for about ten minutes and you will be finished. 

Well, OBVIOUSLY some people in my very active pedestrian neighborhood do not understand this law and have NOT shoveled their city sidewalk yet! Argh! I just went on a short, cold walk to the lunch bistro about 6 blocks away and got covered in snow! I would say only about 35% of the sidewalks were shoveled! 

Seriously people?! Come on! I don't like snow soaked jeans that much! 

And that's the end of my rant for the day... back to work....

Lost Generation

I am this generation. I have chosen to reverse it and will. Have you?

A Letter to My Orals Board

In order to graduate seminary I had to write a 35 page paper on my doctrinal beliefs. This was a very special and beautiful task for me where I could explore everything I had set out to learn and understand about myself, God and my relationship to Him, others and the world. For me this was something I was going to do no matter what but it helped to have it required of me so I would actually get these thoughts organized. Also, whether I or not my professors who sat on my orals board agreed with me or not, this was how God was working in me at that time in my life, culminating everything in the pages I was about to write. 

As an effort to express the beauty of this process I wrote this letter to my Orals Board explaining how God was working in me and basically summarizing in the last paragraph the essentials of my theology/doctrinal beliefs. What I believe about predestination, election, women in leadership, etc. all come out of these thoughts and beliefs. I feel it is crucial to understand that these other elements (predestination and so forth) are not always considered the essentials of faith and should be treated with charity and humbleness when discussing them. As John Wesley once said, "In the essentials, unity. In all else, charity." 

Here's the letter: 

A Letter to My Orals Board

“Everything is theology,” stated Dr. Buschart in my first TH 501 course. Everything we do, how we live, how we act, how we vote, how we eat, what we eat, how we dress, what we buy, why we buy what we buy and so on are all related to our theological understanding of the world around us and our place in that world. There are so many factors that shape our understanding of God, for example, family, friends, faith upbringing (or lack there of), teachers, economic situation, political situation, education, global experience, and so on. Our life experience defines when, where, how and why we come to realize our need of God and restoration to relationship within His Kingdom. I am living proof of this. 

I grew up in a deeply devote, compassionate, loving Christian home where I was always encouraged to question my faith so I can grow in understanding of why I believe what I believe. With deep love and Christ-likeness my parents lived out their love for God and people in all they did. I have fond childhood memories of long car trips to Colorado where theological discussion ensued at the urging of a ten-year-old me wondering about the world around her, or dinner table discussions with the whole family on how and why God loves the world. 

But it wasn’t just the family where these conversations took place. As I wrote this paper I could hear the echoes of Mrs. Bryant, my 3^rd grade Sunday School teacher, energetically teaching us the story of creation and the Kingdom’s captivating nature. I could see the saints of my home church teaching, by their example, the younger how to live as Kingdom people. I could hear the hymns of my youth resonating their choruses in sanctuary of my soul and realized how profoundly they taught me a foundational theology. This paper is not just the culmination of four years of seminary; it is the culmination of all the Spirit has done in my life, up to now, to reveal the fullness of God. 

With each word written, read, studied, discussed, I feel my soul realize what it could be and will be one day at the final resurrection. I feel I have come to realize more about the world around me, begun to see things from a new perspective because of a deeper understanding of God. When I engage today in the ancient words or practices of the Church I they have a new meaning, yet retain their old meaning, giving me a new depth of life. For me its like the moment you get your breath back after you have had the wind knocked out of you, you suddenly realize you have life again! 

It is this renewed life that has given me cause to write this “letter” at the beginning of my paper. I came to seminary destroyed after ten years of committed, full-time professional ministry (plus a lifetime of being a pastor’s kid) climaxing with a very ugly church fight that lead to two hate letters being sent to me (in the name of Christ). Angry, broken and confused I came to Denver to heal, to rediscover who God had made me to be, to engage in theological questions again and to find restoration to my call into ministry that I had received so many years ago. I was looking for life again. Now, nearing the close of this chapter, I can confidently say that I have found that life again and this paper is a reflection of that life.

Therefore, I have made some adjustments to the “traditional” order of this paper. I have come to realize through my experience that each theological belief I have has begot the next and therefore wanted to express that in the order of my paper. I believe revelation begets a belief in God, which is Triune. God the Father created all the world, creating Humans to reflect His image and engage in relationship with Him and one another. However, because of sin we have been separated from this relationship and therefore are in need of Christ the Reconciler to come to restore us to right relationship and give us the way to live as Kingdom people. To guide and transform us into Kingdom people, Christ has asked the Father to send us the Spirit. The Spirit moves us to repentance, salvation and sanctification and is the very life of the Church. As we live as Kingdom people we engage with the Angels in worship of God, yet there are Demons seeking to keep us separated from the Father but they will be banished forever in the last days. It is this order that I seek to reflect in my paper. 

What's a Motto? Nothing, what's a motto with you?

Ha, ha... that's a line from the Lion King! But seriously folks....

In the wonderful spirit of today, Inauguration Day, and the challenge before us to live and be the change and hope we want to see in the world, I thought I would provide a link to one of my favorite blogs to watch called "Strange Maps" and its entry for January 17, 2009. 

The purpose of this blog is to share with everyone a collection of fun, cool, odd and crazy maps of all sorts from all over. People submit maps, explain their origin and the guy who hosts the page posts them and gives a background story as well as a link to the original location of the map (if applicable). I like to check it out for fun and interesting views on history. Often the maps are older and we can see how certain people saw their world and their future based on how they drew their maps. For example: this one made by Yugoslavia during the Cold War depicting a collapsing US or this one mapping the shipping cycle of a package around the world to make a portrait of a man or this one showing in a really cool way where news tends to break in the US or this one: the first GPS invented in the 1920s, you have to check it out!  

So, today while looking at the blog, I found this map of all the state mottos and their explanations. Now, how cool is that! If you understand a motto to often symbolize your marching orders well then look at your state and see what are yours! Its kind of fun. For all you Oklahomans out there - do you agree with our motto? I know my dad's grandfather sure did! Dad probably would too! 

Not empty words

Over the last few months I have heard people say that Obama is just a great talker, a great orator - there is nothing to him other than a bunch of talk. But today, as I listen to this man speak about our country, I hear him teaching me my story. 

I hear him telling me who I am as an American.

 I hear him telling MY STORY. 

It was my great-grandfather who packed up everything he had into a small bag and crossed the Atlantic from Lebanon to come here to be the best and fullest human being he could be. It was my grandfather who taught me the values and dreams of his father and how those impact who we are and how we live. It was my grandfather who taught my mother to love God, others and country, who then taught me to love the same. It was my father who taught me to tell others that they are valued, that they are crucial and that together we can work for a better world. And it was his father, grandfather and so on that taught him these values. 

"We know that our patchwork heritage is a strength and not a weakness." - states Obama today. 

This is my family. This is my world. My world is one of patchwork. My family is blended. I am Arab, English, German and Scottish. I am a child of two parents who love through difficulties and joys, who know that family and love outweigh anger and frustration, selfishness is not a healthy value. It is these values, this hope and life and choices that change me. 

Today he has told me my story and he has challenged us to change the world. It is our responsibility to change the world. He challenged me, nay all of us, to truly take on the mantel of citizenship and change the world with lives lived on these values of American Citizenship - values of responsibility, equality, value, love and hope-filled freedom. 

Obama has reminded us who we are as Citizens of these United States. 

He isn't just saying empty words. No, he is not just saying empty words. 

He is challenging us to be the change we hope to see in this world. He is challenging us to truly, truly, TRULY live out these values of hope, virtue and equality. 

When we do truly LIVE these values we will be the beckon of hope we should be for the world. 

We can be a better people. These are not just empty words. 

Millions of people volunteered yesterday on the national day of service because it was the right thing to do as citizens. 

1000s of volunteers had to be turned away because there were too many. 

1000s who had never volunteered before but did because Obama challenged us to have now chosen to volunteer regularly.

These are not empty words. 

Can you be changed by words? If they speak to the true values and love of humanity. 

Can you change the world with words? If you trust that words express truth, self and justice and that words are greater than guns. 

When words are spoken with truth, especially with the truth of God and His love and value of humanity, they will impact and begin the change in the world.

God SPOKE the world into existence. The WORD became flesh and dealt among us. The WORD was with God and is God. Those are not empty words. The world was been challenged and changed by The Word and will always be challenged, changed and restored by His WORD. 

When words speak to the truth and wholeness of humanity things will change. 

"Our spirit is stronger and can out last you..." - says Obama to the terrorists who promise to destroy our world, our buildings our way of life. You can take away our things, but you cannot take away our values, our hearts, our souls and our spirit. 

These are not empty words. 

I will fulfill my challenge from God to be His glorious, loving Word in this world and I will take up the mantel of American Citizenship to live a life of peace and mercy. I will follow my call as a Citizen of the Kingdom to love justice, seek mercy and walk humbly with my God....

...say Amen? AMEN! 

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I Have a Dream

Today the truth of this speech is finally coming to a physical reality. No longer is this just lofty talk, but we are taking steps to make this a promised truth.

Understanding Today...

So, yesterday I sent out this e-mail below updating everyone on my e-mail list and my facebook list on what is happening in my life and where I am at with things and my walk with God. What has been absolutely love-filled and beautiful is who has responded and how many of my friends and family have responded with love, encouragement and hopeful advice. Friends who I haven't heard from in a long time, sorority sisters who have always been there to lean on and who have proven to me that they will now and forever be there for my support and encouragement, family members who glorify the reasons we love each other with every comment made (even from my brother over texting!!). 

I love how God has, to His glory, helped to keep me focused and on track to His glorious plan for this life (not just mine, but all those who surround me, I come in contact with and those I will never know). He has reminded me just who I am and who He is through the words of love and encouragement from my friends and family. Perhaps the harder part of this stage of the journey is the unsureness, the confusion on how God is working and who He is calling me to be right now in this moment of feeling lost. 

Its also hard because I have felt like my church community has changed/fallen apart. You see while Denver is a very special and wonderful town, it can also be a very transient place where people come and go and where people seek to find themselves and then once they have they leave. There has also been a lot of changes in my original church community here in Denver causing a lot of the people who I called community to leave the church and all of us end up scattering to the wind. That has been hard on me... I really don't have a church community here. 

So, having all these people love on me and help me find His strength again has been a tremendous help this week. As my friend told me today:  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

Here is the update e-mail for your viewing pleasure: 

Well, some of you might be wondering what is happening with me right now and some of you might be very aware but haven’t heard the latest update so this is a brief e-mail to fill you in. 

Just a quick recap: 

• Graduated seminary in May 2007
  
• May 2007, took steps to start a congregation with some friends, eventually, for healthy reasons, they backed out and I was left alone to continue the development. 
  
• August 2007, began working for Leadership Nexus as the Emerging Church consultant and conference planner. Developed an Emerging Church for the Existing Church Conference here in Denver in April 2008. It was well attended and began to drum up exciting support for the cause of Christ through the Emerging Church movement. 
  
• After a few months realized that it wasn’t the right situation or circumstances for the church plant and watched this first stab at church planting fold. 
  
• End of July 2008 came to realize through the great push of the Holy Spirit that I was struggling greatly with not having a congregation to serve, lead and develop. 
  
• August 2008 began to actively seek out church, parachurch or missions organization employment. 
  
• September 2008 began actively interviewing for a few positions in Colorado and Kansas. 
  
• Mid September 2008 - Economy Crashed - most of the organizations I was interviewing with went on a hiring freeze which meant no more interviews. 
  
• October 2008 - sent my resume out to 50+ UMC church leaders all over the country asking for help with my job search, resulting in about 5 opportunities with churches or UMC conferences wanting to create a job in order to hire me. However, the economy wasn’t getting any better so nothing was (and still isn’t) moving to fast. 
  
• November 2008 attended Leadership Nexus’s Traditional Worship Conference, got an interview out of the event, but nothing has happened with the job yet. 
  
• December 2008 spoke with Dad at The Great Emergence event based on Phyllis Tickle’s book by the same title. 
  
• After The Great Emergence event Dad and I realized there was still a great need for Emergent/Existing Church conferences and began to plan ways to develop another series of conferences on the subject. Part of this plan has been the hiring of me as a contract position. to develop the conferences for Leadership Nexus. 
  
• Interviewed for Conference Youth Director job in Tennessee, really wanted it, didn't get it. Long story - but my thinking was the interview was just a formality, they already knew who they were going to hire before they started anyone's interviews. 
  
• January 2008 - still looking for job. 
  
• Between now and mid February plan on making trips to Tennessee and Cincinnati to work on developing these Emerging/Existing Conferences. 
  

So, that is the recap.

I am still struggling with my job search. Most places are very carefully looking for positions and anything that they can put on another person’s plate rather than hire someone new they will do - its the economy, economy, economy... 

Yes, I am looking for a job just about anywhere in the US and even over seas. What am I willing to do? Well, call me and we can talk about that. Basically a Youth Director position for 40 kids is not what I am looking for - I am over qualified. But a Christian Education Director, an Associate Pastor, etc. - that might be something else. 

I am also living in a set of circumstances based on an income that is not happening now and so I am having to look at other options.

I am still working at the restaurant as my only stable source of income, but that isn’t that much either right now - did I mention the economy?! Where I used to make 100-125 on a 5 hour shift I am now lucky to make 80-90. So, I don't really know how I will make ends meet at the end of each month. Working to find a job is a full time job, as well as waiting tables, so I am burning the candle at both ends and am becoming emotionally and spiritually exhausted - only one of those jobs pays.... It is also hard because while I know who I am and what my purpose in life is, I struggle greatly with the fact that I am not really accomplishing it right now. For this reason I am quite grateful for the contract work with Leadership Nexus because it gives me the chance to work through my purpose, however, its still just temporary. 

So, here are my current options I am looking at to help reduce my costs during this transition time  since nothing is materializing quickly: 

1) Find a job as some sort of part-time resident manager with a small apartment complex that will give me free rent. Cornerstone Apartments in Denver does something like this, but I just don't know if they have any positions open. 

2) Put all my stuff in storage and live out of suitcases, bouncing from friend to friend house until I can get a job. 

3) Find some sort of free housing option. This is the bulk of my expenses right now, I have paid off most of my other bills - Thank you LORD! 

4) Start playing the Lottery or go to Blackhawk to gamble and see how that goes! 

5) Sell my plasma, blood, hair, teeth...ok maybe not teeth

What else? 

1) I am seriously considering just moving to Cincinnati, Ohio and taking up a job there some where. Why? Well, don't all of you want to move there too?!?!? OK, OK... It's mainly because there are some really cool people (friends of mine) there who are doing some great things with emerging church development and have called me and told me they would love for me to more there to help them. There is a Pappadeaux there and some other possible job options. 

2) I have come to realize that I have a marketable workshop that I can share with churches and leadership teams on understanding current culture and how God has been moving throughout Generations. I worked on this and taught it at the Creative Conference Leadership Nexus hosted in Orlando this last week and it was well received. Its all about understanding the generations in our congregations, how they think (generally), how they act, how to work with them, how they respond to the church and how to connect with the Postmodern culture we live in. I would like to work this up and start doing weekend retreats and training events all over the country. 

3) I am still willing to start a church and would like to find some parent organization to support this. If you have any ideas let me know. 

4) I am planning on getting ordained in the UMC. However, this process is long and difficult to transfer until you are about a year in so I am waiting until I know where I will be to start the process. 

What is happening with the 5 churches I mentioned in the beginning? I don't know, I am in the process of finding out. If you have any suggestions let me know. 

So, there it is.... please be praying for me. I am at a loss. I don't know how this will all turn out. God's careful control is going on here, but its still difficult. Any help you can give, prayer, encouragement, anything... will be well appreciated. I live only to His glory and will always call Him Lord whether I ever have work again. God is good, all the time....

Love always, 

Becky